Notes on "Alone-ness"

Being alone is not easy and for some, it can be a constant struggle arising from a basic need to either "feel" complete/part of a whole or arise from a bout of FOMO. Nonetheless, if one is willing to accept the challenge of living every moment with one's self - eating at a restaurant; watching a movie and sharing a pop corn with your self; spending a weekend strolling the streets of a city observing people go by alone - it can be very empowering.

I was born emotionally dependent on others and had a crippling fear of abandonment (it's true - ask my mom), but throughout the years of moving from city to city, I have come to truly revel living "alone" most of the time. A mind is stronger than one thinks and has the ability to wade out of a perception of "loneliness" to appreciate "alone-ness" as it is.

People are essential as there is a symbiotic relationship we find with each other that is necessary to growth (on both the singular and greater-humanity level). Yet there are unnecessary turmoils attached to this when we are too dependent on certain people. These people too have individual needs that are as independent and as volatile as our own - why should we demand and expect so much out of them emotionally? We should not insist on their permanent commitment to our one selves or demand from them a fulfillment of an expectation that you had unconsciously set for them. Instead we should appreciate each person as part of a Whole - a Whole that is a living and breathing library... filled with beautifully, exquisitely fragile books of every topic imaginable.

I truly do enjoy being with people in the exchange of ideas it brings and the opportunity for a good banter. However, in many ways, my time of "alone-ness" are some of my happiest moments too. For this is when I have my five senses to myself - to enjoy the little occurrences and the existing details present in life. This is also when my mind is the clearest for rumination and has resulted in a few epiphanies and a construction of my own life principles. These principles then gets fine-tuned when I meet people and have discussions with them.

See the cyclical pattern arising? To me at least, the construction of theories and principles have to go through this process of extrospection, introspection and discussion with others to truly ripen. "Alone-ness" is part of the process. So go on. Embrace it.